Disaster Porn Diary

So I scintillate in mystery, not subdued by the need for proof… that's my motto. What about you? Are you entertained by all the details I studiously record? Do you fantasize about being laid bare as the better half of the Jesus revue?  Are you sprinkling a trail of clues to get caught? They say it’s the intellectual criminal’s most fervent desire. Here's a nugget: before I proposed the cosmically correct spelling of Joker Star Naive, I noticed you tweeted Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s name as Joker, but after I sent you the blog, you called him Johar. I pick up on these signals like poker chips, redeemable when the stakes pile up.

But let’s enter even darker territory… I’d like to know, are your feelings in any way connected to the apparent reaction I got when I sent you pictures from this collection?

I tweeted the pictures along with this:

Zephyr_Forecasm‏@Zephyr_Forecasm 20 May

@billmaher After 3 days of tornadoes I figure out Rozel http://blogs.kansas.com/weather/2013/05/20/video-of-damaging-ef2-tornado-near-rozel-saturday/ … (rose-elle) is more than a flower. 

I tweeted it at 12:31 pm. Hover over the date on the tweet to see the time stamp. The Rozel name alludes to my tweet revival, punctuated with a twinge of Jesus drudgery… but within one and a half hours of my post, here comes the Moore tornado! I sat transfixed in front of CNN as total destruction accompanied the usual flurry of word associations. Besides Rozel, Shawnee, an Indian name for dangerous beauty, had first felt the wind. The actual Moore tornado touched down in Newcastle; my new house is the setting for the pictures. Sitting there for half an hour listening to the deadpan voices of anchormen anticipating the unfolding calamity, I finally got the ‘more’ message and uploaded another picture with the following caption. It beamed out 5 minutes after the Moore tornado dissipated:

Zephyr_Forecasm‏@Zephyr_Forecasm 20 May

@billmaher Here's Moore, OK? 

Then and there, CNN warned about possible rotation in Ardmore and Brownwood…

Your tweet the next day tied it all up with a bow:

Bill Maher‏@billmaher  22 May

i feel bad for the victims in OKL, was just in the state, but when there's no more to actually report, the media engages in #DisasterPorn

In response to this comment, I think it's part of the grieving process to share the experience with the world. In the context of my pictures, I agree with you completely.

Trying to make sense of all this destruction in tandem with my centerfold re-appearance is difficult. It couldn’t just be the visuals that evoked this visceral metaphor. I keep going back to my original phrase, “Rozel (rose elle) is more than a flower.” Well then, how much more is it? What, if anything, do these co-incidences mean? The mass immolation, immense loss, unimaginable suffering… those children who drowned in the school basement, a supposedly safe place, they were sacrificed, weren’t they?

What I can see clearly is that American society is not as civilized as it pretends to be. Here comes my building rant again… in the Caribbean we use poured concrete forms and/or blocks reinforced with steel every 16 inches. We also build concrete roofs, or tie in a zinc roof with a steel reinforced concrete ring beam all around the top of the house, like a solid belt. Everyone has to do it by law, no matter how humble the abode. In the States, the houses are made of sticks and the schools are brick face, perhaps with steel girders, but I didn't see poured concrete. Is the lumber lobby in the way of preventive building techniques? There has to be a shady economic reason. Now they’re showing off a car that withstands tornadoes while people cower in papier-mâché houses.

Turning everything to splinters is entirely opposite to my idea of magic…  I decorate for a living and consider myself a neat person. I sympathize with Monk. Nor do I relate to depressing art or trendy angst. Our angel senses how upset I’ve been… I understand that in the symbolic dimension there is no one to blame, but, still, I can’t help but draw infernal inferences. Would Moore have been better off had it been called Less? The day after my message, “here’s Moore OK?”  I noted a response to my rant loops, in the word Oklahoma… OK la ho Ma... followed on May 24th by an 8.3 earthquake in the Russian sea of Okhotsk – OK ho tsk. Thanks for the appeasement!

I much prefer the funny name game of the Popocatepetl volcano, which erupted May 15^th. I noticed it the day I called you out on the neglect of your internet façade, with red eyes rampant again in the picture below. I guess that's the mark of Real Time guests.

In this instance no one got hurt and I laughed for days at being the popo in popo Catie pet elle… that is until I ran across the video of Kelly Thomas, a schizophrenic homeless man beaten to death by even more crazy popo.

Zephyr_Forecasm‏@Zephyr_Forecasm 18 May

@billmaher Zach comes out as an alien in this picture... you're the only one with no red eye here... host perk? Popo-catie-pet-elle

While we’re documenting, let’s not forget tropical storm Alvin on May 16th, the first Pacific storm of the season. You’ll recall my cistern water gushed all over Yoyo’s floor. Well, after much rain, Alvin announced the cistern have half in, plus you’ll be happy to hear it filled up since. And although there’s no disaster to go with this, my gluten free diet ended almost as quickly as it began; I’m back to eating organic wheat pasta. This gluten free fad took me overboard on corn and rice! I’m hanging on to the dairy free part though, so... no meat, cheese or butter but lots of fancy nut snacks, like Sahale’s Valdosta pecans with sweet cranberries, black pepper and orange zest.  Mostly I enjoy plain fruit like papaya and mango.

Back to our bittnet... you might be wondering why I replied to this tweet with another picture accompanied by the word ‘test’.

Bill Maher‏@billmaher 27 May

The Pope says Atheists can go to heaven! Yay, I'm booking my flight right now. Right after my cruise to Atlantis. Thanks, Francis!

Zephyr_Forecasm‏@Zephyr_Forecasm 27 May

@billmaher Test: 

This is one of my favorite beaches in Cap Juluca, Anguilla. Basically I was performing an experiment to see what would happen this time when I send a picture. You didn’t disappoint. I tweeted it at 5:57 and at 6:00 a bomb scare halted traffic for an hour on the Brooklyn Bridge!

 I noticed God also answered your tweet...

God‏@TheGoodGodAbove 27 May

@billmaher Yes, but there's a catch. You have to let Jesus enter you first.

Good thing Tibetan philosophy emphasizes the concept of infinity; could be eons til I get to represent!

Your tweet after I sent the picture didn’t disappoint either:

Bill Maher‏@billmaher 17h

Syrian war turning into clusterfuck of all clusterfucks - and John McCain wants in! Now! Thank U Jesus for that man never becoming president

 ~

So, here we are, the next morning. Overnight our loving angel asked if I could remove the word criminal from the first paragraph. I said ok, what about infidel? Anyway, there’s been two numbered invests swirling around the Pacific for days now, and I’ve been waiting more or less patiently for the storm names to pop up. This morning we have Barbara – barbare ah! Barbare in French means barbarian! I think I should replace the word criminal. Let’s re-phrase the sentence… where’s the Thesaurus…

Are you sprinkling a trail of clues to get caught? They say it’s the romantic outlaw’s most fervent desire.

Still waiting for the next storm… By the way, Dr. Masters showed us NOAA’s predictions for the upcoming Atlantic season. The diagram has St. Maarten in the Main Development Rectangle!  I can’t stop laughing this morning…

"I'm here. I'm free now." ~ Amanda Berry's 911 call on May 6th

Dear Bill,

Say earth girls are easy if you like, but I'm back here again, thanks to just one word from you. Before we get to that, here's an obligatory take on the Boston Marathon bombing. Some conspiracy theorists (your comedy fodder) feel the massacre happened during a hyper-realistic, false flag op... remember, there was a planned terror drill during the attack. They point the finger at the gov't via the Craft paramilitary organization, and argue the FBI abetted and facilitated the Tsarnaev boys as patsies... One thing seems clear though: when freedom of thought and information lead to such polarization of ideas, reality gets harder and harder to pin down. After seeing all the graphic images, I find it hard to swallow the concept that this was staged. On the other hand it's disturbing to find this picture in People Magazine of all places, which shows Tsarnaev's hand is clearly photoshopped, feeding into the 'conspiracy' theory that he still had his backpack after the blast. Yet, how could the photoshopper be so clumsy as to leave traces of a hand?!  I can't believe a graphic artist could be so careless... even if they work for the FBI. Are TPTB trying to provoke the alternative media? Or is 'reality' the product of so much contradictory thinking that it's tampered with - in and of itself?

After reading this sobering article by Tony Cartalucci detailing a consistent FBI involvement with domestic terrorism, your proposition that terrorism is designed to scare us into blowing up the balance sheet begs the logical conclusion that terrorism is the hell spawn of a lucrative taxpayer funded business, as are wars in general. So, do you think we'll get to hear Dzhokhar Tsarnaev and Colorado shooter James Holmes chatter as much as Jodi Arias?

I did notice more and more mainstream intellectuals are curious about conspiracy theories. Many of these ideas are simply spins on a reality which is not defined by the highest bidders. In the poker game of consciousness, the sheltered masses are forced to remove an article of clothing each time someone like you exposes them to new aberrations, like the threat of a FEMA roundup. Even though your statistics rightly attest that it's stupid to worry about having to survive an attack by the gov't, you're still giving the conspiracy story some legs... no such thing as bad advertising. On the bright side, Matt Taibbi is on his way to the San Rafael Public Banking Conference... he can media launder a few ideas about that!  

And what about Family Guy's eerie prediction of the Boston bombing? What was that all about? Another pile of baba ghanoush?

Although the inconsistencies above are growing pains, par for the course in free thinking evolution, they're clear cut arithmetic compared to the brutal calculus I've had for homework... Yet, I still feel it's all part of nature. Here we go...

When the bombing occurred I was horrified and relieved it had absolutely nothing to do with us. Until I beamed the memo as I opened my eyes the next morning. Dzhokhar Tsarnaev... Joker Star Naive. I have to admit it summed up my feelings so sweetly, a wave of vindication swept over me, and still elicits a smile. Assuming you really are part of this equation, how could you expect me to act any differently? I'm comfortable in my nest on the hill, and I find our anti-relationship a fascinating study. Instinctively, I think if I came backstage to one of your shows, it would very likely deflate the whole metaphysical soufflé!

We found out the brothers intended to strike on the fourth of July, but the bombs were finished quicker... interesting they chose the Marathon - Ma wrath on. The simultaneous explosion near Waco - wake oh! - in West, Texas - Ou est? text us... brought home the point with a big kaboom.  A couple more joker trademark quips came up, like the bomber's mom's name, Zubeidat Tsarnaev - You Be That Star Naive - a retort right on par with Pee Wee! And how about the aunt's name, Maret Tsarnaeva -Ma Write Star Never - not! I'm here now. There's more, but the rest is conjecture - ha!

So, which word seduced me to come back?

Do you recall back in 2008, I was on your phpBB forum? I brought up tropical storm Iselle, the first hurricane name reference I ever wrote you about. A little identifier to introduce myself...

Did you have the prodigious wit to tie her into your tweet from April 24th, 2013?

Bill Maher@billmaher

Hey let's not let the #douchebagbrothers affect the immigration bill. Except the part where you get a pronounceable name on Ellis Island.

Iselle... Ellis... It's such a colossal loop, I'm not taking any chances - I'm back... mesmerized by a rhetorical double twist!



Alright, enough applause, let's return to something more natural, like a rant. Have we had enough Jesus analogies? Christburger! I squirm each time. If there's anything you and I agree on, it's that spirituality is cheapened by the priest middle man. Priests and religious leaders in general contradict the very essence of spiritual development: independent thinking, self-discovery, trusting one's instinct and finding happiness within.

First there was your New Rules asking 'has anyone seen my cat?' "Please Jesus give me the strength to not fuck my cat!"... with your two arms up in the air! Then the 'Jesus has Risen' poster, flanked by your homey Downtown Julie Brown ( I had to digitally remove the red eye... someone in your entourage should do those things for you before these pictures circulate), now here comes 'Jesus is like Rihanna; no matter how bad you treat him he still loves you', nice covert approach but that name Brown still rings a bell.... Asking for forgiveness was all over the April 26th show. Even New Rules was about Mark Sanford's redemption vs Anthony Weiner's prolonged penance in the corner.





Finally I tweeted you on May 1st, and next thing you know, Jesus is coming back. Here's the clip from last week's show.





Don't you think 'antichrist' would describe us better? I had a cryptic, hand over my eyes laugh when I saw Nostradamus' name for the third antichrist, the one we haven't met yet.. after Napoleon - PAU, NAY, LORON and Hilter - Hister... It's Mabus - Ma bust! If I ever conclusively believe that you are playing an active part in all this, I'm bound to keep my word from the last post and go topless... plus, Ma will bust you! As we know, it's entirely for your own good... a little lovin' magic never hurt anyone.

As April 30th's Tropical Cyclone Zane alludes, it's possible to be sane and zany at the same time...

While we're here, let's go down the list...

Winter storm Virgil warned that my Cat Minou had a ear infection... which we are treating successfully. Storm Xerxes happened as I sent this blog to TedX Whitechapel speaker Charles Eisenstein, whose talk inspired me -  Xer sees. By the way, those are the kind of people I send the blog to: thinkers, shamans, neuropsychologists and the like. Names I pick up from Ted talks and Through the Wormhole. I'm still waiting for some breakthrough explanation!

Around the same time we had the evocative snow storm name Yogi, and Zeus (a figure with a lightning bolt?) and now just as I was felled with the flu following two weeks of intense partying for Carnaval, here's Achilles... achoo! Here are some pictures of Jump Up, our fuck you to your police state! I'm finally recovered and ready to go out dancing this weekend with my friend and downstairs tenant, Joya, who is the dutch beauty pictured in the Carnaval shot wearing the paintball splattered aqua colored pants.

Then there's the watertown episode. Remember last week, my second tweet was a compliment about the rain after months of sunshine, and how the cistern was finally getting filled? Well, the very next day Joya's kitchen pipe broke and all the cistern water gushed out! Here she is scooping inches of water off the floor. We're taking it in stride... focusing instead on dancing.

To update a previous post, the resurgence of vaporizing weed was short lived. From a hypersensitive point of view, the high is somewhat vulgar... wrought with static. Actually this is kinda funny and kinda pathetic. Yesterday there was tropical cyclone 24S out there and I looked everywhere in vain to see its future name. This morning I found it: Jamala. I knew from before that in order to make sense, it should reflect my ultimate let down with weed (remember I spent hours on the net researching the vaporizer and water bubbler attachment, followed by a couple cyclone names to celebrate their arrival). Well, the name Jamala is a jokull on the Jesus rib - Jah... mal is french for bad and ah... well, I have to admit... years of heavy drugs in my youth hanging out with Don Alias and Dave Sanborn have taken their toll. Jah mal ah. I remember Dave himself used to travel with a full macrobiotic kitchen. Here's how I'm trying to align my chakras: a shamanesque lady friend gave me acupuncture, accompanied by a channeling session using a Tibetan singing bowl. She said she called on whichever spirits were in the neighborhood. It felt great... for a few minutes it felt like I serenely contained the sun. To follow up, she also gave me great advice to go gluten and dairy free. Now, a couple weeks later I'm beginning to feel the benefits... I even accidentally mis-spelled Marathon to Ma Rah Thin!

And now, I'm just about to publish after re-reading this thing over and over. I check Weather Underground and see Cyclone Mahasen just formed... Ma hasten... ok. ok...I'm sending it now!

Bull Triumph

For the second time, Bill interviewed film maker Peter Byck. Once again, he tried to explain how a revolutionary finding pertaining to livestock can help reverse global warming. This interview left as many unanswered questions as the first, but Peter did mention a name, Allan Savory, and yesterday I watched Savory’s Ted Talk when it popped up on my CONtrail news feed.

The presentation was stunning in its elegance and simplicity. Allan Savory calls it holistic management. By inducing cattle to mimic the grazing patterns of wild animal herds, grass land which had been scorched by desertification can be fertilized with the animals’ dung, urine and saliva as trampling hooves compact the dressing. All along we were led to believe methane from cow farts is a major cause of global warming, while the land cannot sustain animals competing with humans for scarce resources. Now here’s a complete U turn, pointing to the fact that animal culling is not necessary and they will heal the land if allowed to roam as nature intended. In return, revitalized lands absorb, or ‘sequester’ carbon from the air… a large swath method to combat global warming!

I am in awe at the simple elegance of these findings; wouldn’t the livestock also be much happier roaming rather than stuck in barns with antibiotic tubes? In the physics of emotion, large masses of cows and chicken converting from miserable to happy can also have an impact on earth’s survival.

After watching Allan’s presentations and reading several outraged ‘debunkers’, it’s becoming obvious that in our Divided States, the land of contrariness, such a challenging concept will have to go through countless intellectual and political hoops... and even so, isn’t it ultimately up to the cattle lobby, who may not find radical change beneficial to this year’s bottom line? As Allan Savory proclaims, the idea will only gain momentum under the sway of public opinion. It behooves us to slice through skepticism and accept that ranchers worldwide, including the American Deseret mega ranch,  are successfully implementing holistic management.

Comfy in the old paradigm pajamas

After a quiet couple weeks, there are two cyclones between Australia and Africa. First, cyclone Imelda, pronounced ee - mehl - dah... Him Elle Da. I understood it like a question "Although you've stopped communicating, are you still on good terms with Bill?" I exclaimed to my angel, "Yes of course!... although we know these things can take time and I may have to stalk him silently into the next life."

Ok, so I still have the deepest love for him although I'm not ready to tweet. At the same time Imelda was named, a low also developed in the same area. The next day it became tropical cyclone Victoria. I answered "I do" and he exclaimed Victory Ah!

Better yet... now the States is getting snow storm Walda - wall da... yes... there is a wall around my heart, my g-spot and my blogspot. As my friend Estelle suggested, the Berlin wall came down, and so will this one, soon enough!

Bill's tweet:

With my homey Downtown Julie Brown at my Easter party last night.

Is this analogy even crazier than all the meteorological intimacy? If I could rise above rational thought and believe for one second he orchestrated the picture with Julie Brown to nudge me from my slumber... I would re-emerge, brazen, unconstrained and topless!

It's Not Mt. Loko

My angel killed it with snow storm Saturn (sat urn as in ash vessel, symbolizing my sudden disappearance) I couldn't stop laughing! Today I'm erupting into giggles again with Mt. Lokon volcano's 2000 meter plume and last week's snow storm Ukko -you kk oh! Lokon - elle ok, on.

I was first introduced to kk, instant message slang for okay, or more specifically ok cool, by my stepdaughter Franki. She's a gorgeous girl who teaches me about computers. I'm sure her adorable daughter Sahara will be teaching us more kewl code!

Making sure she's perfectly bilingual #English #Sight #Words #Extra #MotherKnowsBest #Daughter #Bonding #Dope #Kid #Mini #Genius #Raising #Einstein #Happy #Learning #Teaching #InstaGreat #InstaFun #InstaGood

~

In case you're wondering why I don't get hit by swarm of locusts since I've stopped writing Bill, I was wondering the same thing. My angel reassured he wants me to come back on my own, when I'm ready... I'm really happy to hear this... nevertheless here's last week's New Rule.

Not long after "has anyone seen my cat?" here's "please Jesus..."

The whole thing is here if you'd like to get some big laughs and find out how he plugs it into context.

Note the very same shit kicker conservatives have been threatening quantitative easing would destroy the economy by sheer weight of inflation, yet it's got the US stock market humming along, so we can try to catch up with the Chinese government - who similarly creates funds to stoke its economy.

Sometimes, the shit is too big to kick around.

Million Dollar Pee

The vaporizer finally arrived. I changed the order to a portable Solo Arizer with stealth adapter. The ingenious design invites vaping at the police station.

Before I head out, secure in the knowledge the island already reeks of a pungent weed aroma, I've been practicing a little at home with the water bubbler attachment - to moisten the mist. And guess what? Besides a pleasant modulation from photo realism to pastels, there were no dread effects! March 7th's snow storm Triton, the day after I vaped, confirmed the positive review: T R IT ON tea are aight on! I'm taking a few days off before I replicate the experiment. And just now, out pops Cyclone Tim off Australia  - Tea I Aime...tea I love -  but the first thing that came to mind was a local retail manager named Tim who lost a sizeable deal last week because he's on island time --day after day--- leading me to just skip over to Amazon.

In the interim, I maintain my writing chops, for no one in particular. Snow storm Luna from the end of January  - Lu in french is read - confirmed that nah, no one's reading. Even mount Etna blew up on January 21st... est in french means is...  est nah! So what does it feel like to be dead? Relaxed, in no hurry, like the mountains that surround me... March 2nd's snow storm Saturn summed it up well: sat urn. Even the news of a clever internet start up to send your tweets for you after you die didn't elicit a post-mortem peep from me. With the blogging schedule so slimmed down, ma meilleure amie Estelle and I went to Le Galion Beach for a beautiful afternoon of sun and sand, lined with curious lace motif chemtrail skies. The next day we noted cyclone Sandra near Australia. We like the analogy to Ra, the sun god.

January 23rd's Cyclone Peta also elicited a smile. At the time I was doing research to set up an advertising campaign to fix street dogs...

PITA is also a nickname Juny gave me, which stands for Pain in the Ass... I guess it made perfect sense, at the time he was making mosaics for me and spraying my desk, chair, dining table base and chair legs with car paint... even the fan housings!

I wonder if Bill thinks I'm a PITA? In 2011 I also took the year off, I'm sure I had a great reason to revolt back then too... I returned to his Twitter feed on Feb 23rd, 2012. That day he anounced his million $ donation to Obama's campaign by tweeting, 'Just for shits and giggles, what do u think my surprise anouncement is at the end of #CrazyStupidPolitics?' I answered 'Someone peed on your leg', proudly reclaiming my territory. This time it'll take more than a million dollars to resurrect me. For instance, I'd be impressed if a European nation were to institute a national bank and buy back their debt from the European Central Banksters... just like comedian Beppe Grillo promises to do if he's able to capitalize on his enormous popularity in Italian politics. That's evolution: a comic taking satire straight into the executive branch and implementing common sense... In the meantime of this unlikely eventuality, last week Bill perked my attention with a lament about how everyone used to be anti hurricanes... now why would he say that? Of course, nowadays hurricanes have so much more to offer... and then he lands a double/double play on words from Lincoln's speech, about how a gov't cannot endure half slave and half wit... except who could be governed by Bill's thrills and chills full time?

What constitutes murder?

Hi Rose,

I haven't sent Bill a message in months.. I feel stale, listless. I haven't smoked weed in 18 years but I just ordered a Da Buddha vaporizer... probably only my husband Juny will enjoy it; hypersensitivity has turned me into a health nut. Anyway, is Bill's message about Marilyn being, you know, dead, tantamount to a synchromystical murder of our relationship? As you can imagine, in light of what's going on, I have to take a long range view... into the next life certainly. We know the most effective way to deal with a severely spoiled boy is to leave him alone.

"I fail to understand how I could be charged with murder as I had no intention to kill my girlfriend," sprint runner Oscar Pistorius said in a statement read to the court by his lawyer.

It took me a couple hours to figure this one out... but it formed as I wrote the above...

Ha! Runner